ORANGEFIELD OB 2-4 LINFIELD 31.7.2012

With Europe over for another year, it wasn’t Partizan Belgrade occupying Linfield minds, but Orangefield OB, in a pre-season friendly.

The game was held at Gibson Park, appropriately, as Linfield are looking to retain the Gibson Cup.

Players who haven’t featured much in the European games featured tonight with Matthew Tipton stealing the show with a hat-trick. Gary Browne got the other goal.

It wasn’t the best of conditions for amateur photography, but I managed to get some OK photos, nothing special.

My camera it seems, is still in pre-season training.

Photo Album

 

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THE FRIDAY FIVE – 27.7.2012

1. Bombay Bicycle Club – Shuffle
2. Horrible Histories – Flame
3. Carly Rae Jepsen – Call Me Maybe
4. Florence and the Machine ft Calvin Harris – Spectrum
5. Gym Class Heroes – The Fighter

It’s the Olympics!!!! Whoop!!

To be honest, my only interest is ripping the piss out of the opening ceremony.

But anyhow, I shall commemorate this by a playlist of Gold, Silver and Bronze, except there are no songs with Bronze in the title (Though, The Beautiful South did bring out a Best Of called ‘Solid Bronze’, but you’re better off buying ‘Carry On Up The Charts to be honest)

FIVE OLYMPIC THEMED SONGS

1. Prince – Gold
2. Spandau Ballet – Gold
3. Shed Seven – Going For Gold
4. David Essex – Silver Dream Machine
5. Razorlight – Golden Touch

Meanwhile, Sugababes are back, except they’re not allowed to call themselves Sugababes for legal reasons.

The original line-up has reformed, and are calling themselves Mutya Keisha Siobhan. I’m rather disappointed they didn’t call themselves Mutya Buena’s Arse Implants

So, I shall commemorate this by doing a Sugababes Top Five, even though they’ve been utter wank since 2008

FIVE SUGABABES SONGS

1. Denial
2. Soul Sound
3. Red Dress
4. Easy
5. Freak Like Me

THE FIFTEEN SINS OF TWITTER

I love Twitter, but there is one thing that gets on my wick about it. Two little letters …… R and T, and more, the abuse of this function.

What is an RT? It’s hard to explain to someone who isn’t on Twitter, as it is pure Twitter jargon.

It stands for Retweet, basically, it’s like forwarding on an e-mail or passing on information. If something is informative or funny, people can RT it, basically to say “This is something i’ll share with you, but I didn’t say it. It was said by ……”

It’s worth pointing out that people may RT something to highlight it, rather than endorsing it.

Don’t get me wrong, the RT function when used rightly, can be such a good thing, as recently seen during the recent Belfast Floods, where MLAs and Councillors posted advice on how to claim assistance and who to contact, and people forwarded it on.

Politicians and members of the public were regularly posting bulletins on where to avoid. This was Twitter at it’s best. I have benefitted from RTs and forwarding of information, as I have found out about events happening in Belfast from people I don’t follow, and even discovered accounts worth following via this way.

Over the past 18 months, a new trend has emerged where people ask celebs/journalists/organisations for RTs, often spamming peoples timelines with drivel.

So here, are the 15 types of offender. I’m not wanting to come across as the Twitter Police, but it would be bloody great if we could deport these people to Menschn.

1. GRIEF TWEETS

The biggest offenders on Twitter. The term is Dianafication, though it must be stated, somebody can be Dianafied if they’re still alive.

2012 has given Grief Junkies many opportunities to infest Twitter, such as the on pitch heart attack of Fabrice Muamba, Tweeters flocked to their computers to ask celebs for RTs.

Pls RT so that #prayformuamba can trend

Please explain to me how a hashtag is going to make someone better?

Or am I a Luddite living in the best for believing in stuff such as Doctors, Medicine and the NHS?

People tried to outdo each other in a rather grotesque manner to ask celebs to endorse their grief.

Seemingly, posting that they wish for him to make a recovery isn’t enough.

When Stilyan Petrov was diagnosed with Lukemia, the Grief Junkies were out in force to ask for RTs to get #prayforpetrov trending.

The captain of a Premier League club from a major city being seriously ill is hardly going to struggle to trend. But again, how is a trending topic going to make someone better?

There was even a Twitter account set up in his name, it’s only posts being RT requests to Aston Villa players, and hasn’t been updated for three months. Whoever set it up obviously found a new bandwagon to jump on.

Claire Squires tragic death during the London Marathon is one other such example, as Twitter was full of people asking for RTs to link her JustGiving page.

That wasn’t in any way morbid.

2. I HAVE A BLOG

A scourge amongst football journalists, who seem to believe in some unwritten rule about helping others on the way up.

It seems that every 17 year old boy in Britain is busy asking football journalists for RTs for their blog about wether ABC or RPM is the better manager? Should England adopt Spains Tricky Tapas style of play? Is Spain’s False Eyeliner formation the future of football?

I really couldn’t care. If I did, I would be following you. Go out and discover girls and Blue WKd. It’s a lot more fun than asking football journalists for RTs.

3. CHARITY REQUESTS

I’M DOING A CHARITY FUNRUN OR SOMETHING, PLEASE RT!!!!!!!!

Worst thing is, celebs RT this sort of thing because some PR advisor is telling them to do so.

Sob stories are optional.

4. MY MATE’S SHOP

A spin-off of Point 3, as people ask celebs for RTs to give publicity for some new business venture.

The hilarious thing is, celebs advertise crap for free on Twitter they wouldn’t do in person if they were paid.

5. EVERYONE’S A POIROT

A spin-off of Point 1, Missing Person stories seem to bring out the worst in Twitter Grief Junkies.

Despite being highlighted in the media and being handled by trained professionals, people on Twitter feel as if it is their duty to find them.

Do they go out and help with the search? Erm, no, they fire off RT requests to celebs. And this helps how?

6. GOOD LUCK TWEETS

Got an exam coming up? Don’t bother revising, just ask a celeb for a Good Luck RT and you’ll definately pass.

If Point 1 s the Dianafication of Twitter, then this is the HugoDuncanification of Twitter.

7. SATURDAY MORNING FOOTBALL TWEETS

Quiet at the moment, but just wait until August, as every Saturday morning, footballers will be RTing RT requests from people who are on a bus en route to a football match.

I’m going to the game today, pls RT

Now, I go and watch Linfield most weeks, but do I need to get Michael Gault to share this with Twitter? Erm, no.

So footballers, please stop RTing this drivel and just concentrate on the game.

8. COMIC RELIEF

A seasonal one this, only arising when one of the BBC’s charity galas are on TV.

Instead of lying in a bath of baked beans, people now ask celebs for RTs, using Comic Relief as a front.

For every RT I get, i’ll give £1 to charity. Pls RT.

Just give £20 to charity and get the fuck off my timeline.

9. AWARENESS

Please RT to raise awareness of something.

Yeah, cheers for that, what am I supposed to do with this new found awareness?

10. SICK KIDS

Another spin-off of Point 1, where people adopt sick kids as a cause celebre, come up with a catchy hashtag and ask celebs for RTs.

Worst ones are the “Bucket list” ones, where seemingly every sick kid dreams of trending on Twitter before they die. I trended on Twitter once (In London, after doing a joke about Delia Smith which got RTed so many times) and it was OK, nothing special.

11. BIRTHDAY RTs

Please RT it’s my birthday.

Congratulations, you’ve managed to wake up and not die on 365 successive occasions. Well done, you truly are a giant amongst humanity.

Worst ones are “An RT would make my day”

If getting an RT off a celeb is “The highlight of my day” I think you need a pretty serious life re-evaluation.

12. BIG FAN

I’m a big fan, please RT.

Erm, yeah. Thanks for sharing that with us.

13. CAUSES

Pls RT to get signatures for this petition, or some hashtag urging us to boycott products, brands or countries, or even Alan Davies (Especially stuff I don’t buy or countries I don’t visit)

Now, I follow politicians on Twitter, and if people want to tweet about politics, that’s no problem, but I don’t want people ramming their political ideas down my throat if I don’t follow them.

If a message needs an RT from a celeb, it’s clearly not a strong message.

14. STAN TWEETS

You know the song ‘Stan‘ by Eminem, about an obsessed fan wanting to be friends with a celebrity? Yeah, that.

People who begin RT requests with “How come you never RT me?”

That is in no way sinister or threatening.

15. MORE FOLLOWERS

Pls RT so I can get more followers.

You know, you would probably get more followers if you didn’t spam Twitter with RT requests to get more followers. Just saying.

On the other side of the fence, celebs who do “I’ll follow someone at random of everyone who RTs this” tweets.

If Gary Barlow wants to follow me on Twitter, he’s more than welcome. I sure ain’t going to beg for it Gary.

THE FRIDAY FIVE – 20.7.2012

1. Neil Hefti – 60s Batman Theme
2. Prince – Batdance
3. U2 – Hold Me, Trill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me
4. 10CC – The Things We Do For Love
5. Gotye – Somebody That I Used To Know

Meanwhile, last week I remember that I still had a Ticketmaster voucher for 20 quid (left over from my birthday) so I decided to put it to good use and got a ticket for The View at The Limelight (my first ever gig at The Limelight, believe it or not)

Northern Ireland play Russia that day, hopefully an afternoon kick-off due to the time difference, which could be s fun day built around those events (Unsurprisingly, that’s my STLFTEM for September sorted)

So, in honour of this, behold, a Top Five for The View

FIVE SONGS BY THE VIEW

1. Blondie
2. Same Jeans
3. Don’t Look Back Into The Sun
4. The Don
5. Grace

HOLY BATBLOG!!!! : THE FRIDAY FIVE – BATMAN SPECIAL

Today sees the release of the latest Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, and it would be rude not to commemorate this with a tribute to The Caped Crusader.

Forget Christian Bale. Forget George Clooney. Forget Val Kilmer. Even forget Michael Keaton. There is only one true Batman. His name, is Adam West.

Before Family Guy, West saved Gotham City from Baddies and made all our lives better in a live action television series. I used to love watching repeats of this as a child, and still love watching repeats on weekday mornings on ITV 4.

So comical, so colourful, so wonderful. How can you not love Adam West?

Captions of made up words accompanied punches, while Chief O’Hara was a joy, always struggling to work out which master criminal based in Gotham City would taunt them with a joke. A joke!!! If only there was a criminal in Gotham City known for his jokes.

So here, are the Top Five moments of the 1960s Batman TV series (and accompanying Movie)

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

Zoink!!!

There are so many great moments, that there are great moments left out.

LIBERACE CAMEO

Ker-Pow!!! Liberace playing a pianist under the pay of his evil twin brother, who plays a note which deafens people, allowing his evil brother to jump in and steal their belongings. He masterfully played both roles. #holyeviltwin

CHAD AND JEREMY

Biff!! A real band, believe it or not (The Beatles, Rolling Stones, The Who, and every other major band of the 60s must have been unavailable) who played themselves doing a concert in Gotham City, where Catwoman stole their voices.

The plan was to stop them making music, thus making money, and paying taxes to UK Treasury, and thus causing all world economies to collapse. How dastardly.

I imagine if the show was remade today, it would be One Direction having their voices stolen, though i’d like to think Batman would just turn a blind eye to that one. #holyworldeconomycollapse

JOKER JELLY

Splat!! In one episode, The Joker turns Gotham City’s water supply into jelly. I’d love it if that happened in Belfast just to see NI Water make a bollocks of the situation #holyjelly

RETURN TO THE BATCAVE

Urkk!! 2003 biopic starring Adam West and Burt Ward looking back at the show. It begins with Adam West getting ready for a charity function, lifting the head of a statue to slide down a pole to get change.

His butler, Jerry, asks if it is a nostalgic nod to the TV show, to which West replies “No Alfred, it came with the house”

After angrily pointing out that his name is Jerry, West replies “Sorry Alfred”

It continues being that funny. Well worth checking out. #holybiopic

EXPLODING SHARK

Eeee-Yoh!! This needs no introduction. The opening scene to the movie. Batman fights a Shark, which turns out to be and exploding robot.

Luckily, Batman has Anti-Shark Repellant Spray in his utility belt and manages to escape.

Lucky that. #holyexplodingshark

5. CHAT WITH SAMMY DAVIS JUNIOR

Plop!! A classic recurring gag, Batman and Robin climb up a wall, someone opens their window to see what’s going on, and engages in a casual chat with Batman and Robin.

In one episode, they were climbing up a building where Sammy Davis Junior was rehearsing, and engaged in casual natter with the Dynamic Duo.

Davis suggests that Batman and Robin see him in concert, by way of mutual appreciation as “I did your act”

I imagine if the show was filmed today, it would probably involve some rapper, talking street talk, and Batman talking street back to him. Sigh. #holyratpack

4. HOLY TAXATION

Blurp!! Batman and Robin park outside the baddies lair, but before jumping in, proper order first, Batman pays the parking meter.

“But no Traffic Warden would give the Batmobile a ticket!!!” cries an over-eager Robin, to which Batman replies “This money goes towards building better roads, we all must contribute” prompting Robin to utter “Holy taxation”

That’s what stops me being a masked vigilante in Belfast, bloody Traffic Wardens wouldn’t hesitate to give me a ticket while i’m saving the city, especially around Ormeau Avenue and Botanic. #holycivicduty

3. LONDINIUM EPISODE

Whap!! Not just a moment, but a whole (three-part) episode, set in Ye Merry Olde England (Or England, as Americans view it)

Commissioner Gordon is attending a conference in “Londinium”, where there is a crime spree, and the “President Of London” asks Batman for help.

Just imagine a modern remake of that, Boris Johnson starring as himself asking Batman to help stop a crime spree in London.

Batman travels to London, conveniently at the same time Bruce Wayne (with his Ward, Dick Grayson) travels there on Wayne Foundation business, as does Barbara Gordon, as a guest of her dad.

In London, Robin gets captured by a gang of sexy females and hates every minute of it. Batgirl goes to the Cricket Club where he is held to rescue him and gets captured, and locked in the dungeon.

Batman goes to the dungeon to rescue Batgirl, but gets locked in, but uses an Indian Rope Trick for both of them to escape by climbing up and out of a window.

All three of them then stop a robbery of the Crown Jewels, and Ye Merry Olde England returned to being peaceful and crime free. #holyapplesandpairsguvnor

2. THE BATUSI

Vronk!! Batman (Robin is too young to be allowed in) visits a nightclub to investigate some crime, where he gets involved in conversation with a woman who asks him to dance. Ever the perfect gentleman, Batman dances. Not just any dance, but his version of the Watusi ……… The Batusi. #holystrictlycomedancing

1. TRYING TO GET RID OF A BOMB

Bam!! Batman goes to a bad guys lair, but it’s a trap, they’ve left a bomb for him. He can’t let it explode as there’s a full pub underneath, so what does he do?

Everywhere he tries to go, he meets obstacles : Marching bands, Nuns, women pushing prams, A young couple on a boat, Ducks

Eventually, Batman utters the immortal words “Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb”

Luckily he did, just in time. #holybombdisposal

THE FRIDAY FIVE – 13.7.2012

1. Katy Perry – Wide Awake
2. Florence and the Machine ft Calvin Harris – Spectrum
3. The Killers – Runaways
4. Josh Osho – Redemption Days
5. Gym Class Heroes ft Ryan Tedder – The Fighter

Last Sunday, ITV launched a three part series titled ‘The Nation’s Favourite Number One’ which will probably have some crap Robbie Williams or Spice Girls song as the winner.

To commemorate this (The UK Singkes chart turns 60 this year) i’m going to do a Top Five for every decade from the 60s on.

I have three editions of the Guinness Book Of British Hit Singles (1999, 2001, 2003) and read them from cover to cover, so I know which songs were and weren’t Number One off by heart.

I had to use Wikipedia for this decade, whatever it’s called. A marked departure from when I would check the charts on Ceefax on a Sunday night (It’s still on page 528, if you’re interested)

FIVE NUMBER ONES FROM THE 60s

1. Small Faces – All Or Nothing
2. Rolling Stones – Get Off My Cloud
3. Tommy Roe – Dizzy
4. The Beatles – Ticket To Ride
5. Bee Gees – I Just Gotta Get A Message To You

FIVE NUMBER ONES OF THE 70s

1. Kate Bush – Wuthering Heights
2. Tina Charles – I Love To Love
3. Blondie – Heart Of Glass
4. Sweet – Blockbuster
5. Status Quo – Down Down

FIVE NUMBER ONES OF THE 80s

1. Wham – Freedom
2. Nena – 99 Red Balloons
3. Blondie – Call Me
4. Joe Dolce – Shaddap You Face
5. The Jam – Going Underground

FIVE NUMBER ONES OF THE 90s

1. U2 – The Fly
2. Queen – Innuendo
3. Chesney Hawkes – the One And Only
4. Blur – Country House
5. Babylon Zoo – Spaceman

FIVE NUMBER ONES OF THE 00s

1. Tatu – All The Things She Said
2. Stereophonics – Dakota
3. Nelly Furtado – Maneater
4. Cheryl Cole – Fight For This Love
5. Billie Piper – Day And Night

FIVE NUMBER ONES OF THE 10s

1. Owl City – Fireflies
2. Carly Rae Jepsen – Call Me Maybe
3. Rihanna ft Calvin Harris – We Found Love
4. Gotye ft Kimbra – Somebody That I Used To Know
5. Diana Vickers – Once

CRUSADERS 0-3 ROSENBORG 5.7.2012

Was at Seaview on Thursday night for the UEFA Cup tie between Crusaders and Rosenborg.

It was my sixth tie attended in this competition in the last four years. My last game in this competition was at Old Trafford between two sides with seven European Cups between them.

Crusaders were heavy underdogs and the scoreline wasn’t much of a surprise. Rosenborg were a class above their opponents.

Crusaders were restricted to mostly long range efforts, most of which were on target but never really troubled the keeper.

Even if they did, Rosenborg could easily have stepped up a gear if they needed to.

Crusaders will feel aggrieved about a penalty claim being turned down with the score at 1-0, and then Rosenborg score from the resulting counter-attack, but in truth, the better team won.

Declan Caddell was sent-off, marking it my first red card seen of the season (I also saw him sent-off in person last season too) and Gareth McKeown missed a penalty, though that wasn’t my first seen this season. Somebody at the FA must have distributed a copy of ‘How To Take A Penalty Like England Players’ to Irish League clubs preparing for Europe .

Random stat, but all three games I’ve been to in 2012-2013 have had a penalty. If you include he Irish League v Manchester United XI game in May, that’s four successive games I’ve been to where there has been a penalty.

So, my football watching season is off and running, though it might take a month long break depending on Linfield’s result this Tuesday.

Managed to get some good photos from this game. There was a brilliant sunset at half-time too.

Enjoy

Photo Album

THE FRIDAY FIVE – 6.7.2012

1. Blur – Under The Westway
2. Little Mix – Wings
3. Paloma Faith – Picking Up The Pieces
4. Coldplay ft Rihanna – Princess Of China
5. Newton Faulkner – Clouds

This week, sees a 25th anniversary concert in honour of Stock, Aitken and Waterman. So, here’s a Top Five SAW chart for you

FIVE STOCK, AITKEN AND WATERMAN SONGS

1. Kylie Minogue – I Should Be So Lucky
2. Bananarama – Love In The First Degree
3. Jasonb Donovan – Too Many Broken Hearts
4. Dead Or Alive – You Spin Me Round
5. Donna Summer – This Time I Know It’s For Real

Not to be outdone, the media is nust commemorating Rolling Stones 50th anniversary.

Not to be outdone, here’s a chart

FIVE ROLLING STONES SONGS

1. She’s A Rainbow
2. Get Off My Cloud
3. I’m Free
4. Ruby Tuesday
5. Start Me Up

LINFIELD 0-0 B36 TORSHAVN 3.7.2012

Bloody hell, talk about frustrating.

Only two days after the final of Euro 2012, my first club game of the season (I’m counting the June match between Holland and Northern Ireland as my first match of the season)

Missed penalty, hit the bar, hit the keeper, hit everything except the back of the net. Ahhh, the Linfield we know and love.

Still confident of getting through in the away leg, but still bloody annoying that the tie wasn’t put to bed tonight.

Usual scenario with regards to photos at Windsor Park, some good, some bad.

Photo Album