ADWATCH : THE ENGLAND MARS ADVERT

You know there’s a major tournament when there are football themed adverts on our TV screens.

These adverts usually feature Geoff Hurst, living off something he did 46 years ago. I’m yet to see a football cash-in advert featuring Martin Peters. He scored in the 1966 World Cup Final too you know.

The most high profile one is for Mars, featuring a scenario where England face Holland in a penalty shoot-out.

In it, England’s goalkeeper gets injured, and a supporter lives the dream, coming in to take his place and be a hero, but it raises a few questions and points that need answering.

1. YOU CAN’T MALE A SUBSTITUTION DURING A PENALTY SHOOT-OUT

If a goalkeeper gets injured, they can’t bring on a substitute. What happens now is that an outfield player would have to go into nets.

2. REPLACEMENT KEEPER NOT IN MATCHDAY SQUAD

It may be dreamlike for a supporter to come in from the stand to play, but sadly, the rules of foootball deny it. Only players named in the matchday squad can play. Unless of course, he was named in England’s squad, but was moonlighting as a paramedic, which is not beyond reason.

3. GOALKEEPER’S ATTIRE

Our hero jumps on the pitch wearing an England top and jeans. Sadly, FIFA do not allow the wearing of jeans in a professional football match. They may allow tights and under armour, but jeans are strictly forbidden.

Also, he is wearing a watch. This is not allowed under FIFA’s rules, like ear-rings, on health and safety grounds.

4. ENCROACHMENT

Holland’s goalkeeper is in the penalty are when their players take each penalty. He should be outside the box when a penalty is being taken. The referee should have ensured this was the case.

He has the power to have the kick retaken, but technically, this would be rewarding Holland for their foul play.

5. LACK OF UNITY IN ENGLAND SQUAD

Only three players are seen celebrating with the goalkeeper. Where is the rest of the team?

I’m guessing they are refusing to celebrate with him in protest at his behaviour.

6. ENGLAND’S PENALTIES

We only see Holland not scoring their penalties, yet don’t see any England penalties.

Are we to assume that they scored all of theirs and win 3-0?

7. ENGLAND WINNING A PENALTY SHOOT-OUT

Come on now …….. that’s just far fetched.

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WII ADS 1980s STYLE

With the news breaking tonight of the death of Henry Cooper, naturally, it would have been rude not to check out his Brut advertising campaign with Kevin Keegan on Youtube.

Amongst one of the related videos, is a series of adverts from the early 1980s for Atari game consoles fronted by Morecambe and Wise.

Until tonight, I didn’t know such a thing existed. As a graduate in Marketing and a fan of Morecambe and Wise, I am just loving this video collection.

I don’t know why, but I love adverts from the past. So simple, in terms of shooting and just get straight to the point.

Not only that, I especially love it when ads from the past get revisited as part of current campaigns, such as Coca Cola reviving their “I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing” advert.

So, lovers of Morecambe and Wise, and early 80s advertising sit back and enjoy an ad campaign that has more or less been ripped off almost 30 years later.

THE GOLDEN AGE OF ADVERTISING

You probably already know as i’ve done a very poor job of denying it, that I am a geek.

One of my geeky activities is that I love watching old videos on Youtube. Total random bollocks, but an insight into a bygone age of television.

So, I just thought i’d share with you, some of my favourite adverts from days of yore currently on Youtube.

We begin, with a Public Service Announcement based on one of my favourite TV shows of all-time as Batgirl complains to Batman about her rights in the workplace while rescuing the Dynamic Duo from a ticking bomb.

Typical woman, eh?

Always picking to most inappropriate moment to jabber on.

You can see the moment when Batman is inwardly saying to himself for her to shut the fuck up and and just deactivate the bomb.

Anyway, she’s a vigilante crimefighter, she doesn’t do it for money, so she should stop complaining. Gotta love Robin’s “Holies”, with “Breaking and entering”, “Act of congress” and “discountent” to add to his various observations during the TV show.

You may have noticed a lack of Adam West in the video, as he was too busy serving the people of Quohog.

Meanwhile, Invest NI forerunner IDB decided it would be a good idea to launch a marketing campaign urging people to work harder, which must be a bit of a bummer when relaxing at home watching TV, only to see an advert telling you to work harder.

Getting in on the public service advertising act, the RUC brought out an advertising campaign asking people to snitch on criminals.

I remember when this ad came out, and it scared the shite clean out of me.

Everytime, I hear ‘Cats In The Cradle’, either by Harry Chapin, Ugly Kid Joe or Jason Downs, all I can think of is this ad, which I suppose shows how successful it was.

Meanwhile, footballers have always been a favourite for ad men to front campaigns as Jimmy Hill demonstrates when educating the nation on road safety.

So cyclists and motorbikers had better be careful on the road, or else their untimely demise will be analysed by Jimmy Hill, as if he’s discussing wether Aston Villa’s second goal was offside on Match of the Day.

Other examples of footballers chasing the ad men’s cash include Brian Clough advertising Shredded Wheat and Saint and Greavsie advertising KFC. That’s Kentucky Fried Chicken, not Kilmarnock Football Club.

Footballers are such money grabbing whores, that they are prepared to appear in adverts before they become a footballer.

One day Jimmy, all those keepy-ups will help you become captain of West Ham United.

As a side note, isn’t “There’s nothing quite like a McDonalds” better than “Ba da ba ba ba, i’m loving it”?

Talking of celebrities appearing in adverts before they were famous, bet Billie Piper wishes she could get the lend of a Sonic Screwdriver and remove this from the nation’s consciousness

And yes, I bought that edition and love the ‘Ultimate Spice Girls Kit’

Talking of the Spice Girls, Remember their Channel Five launch?

I could just imagine the scenes in the recording studio as they try to brainstorm inspiration to write a song about a fifth terrestrial television channel.

It’s just a pity that they didn’t wait a year until 5ive were a big act in the charts. They would have been a more appropriate act to launch the channel.

Anyone who has ever seen the Mitchell and Webb parody of Sky’s football coverage will love this simpler ‘less is more’ advert for the 1986 World Cup. Certainly not as epic as their trailer for the 2008 Olympics

In 1989, Gerry Kelly voiced an advert for a UTV version of the apprentice offering young entrepreneurs a chance in starting up in business.

It’s a different world these days. If a young entrepreneur wants help setting up a business, they just shag the wife of their local MP.

Meanwhile, someone at Austin Rover though it would be a good idea to have an advertising campaign fronted by Noel Edmonds and Derek Trotter.

I don’t know why Austin Rover would want their product associated with a shifty looking, dodgy, untrustworthy wideboy …………… such as Noel Edmonds.

So, i’ll finish with this trailer for ‘Life On Mars’, where the past meets the present in a piece of TV genius