MAGAZINE ARCHIVE : SMASH HITS – 31.7.1996

Eternal are the cover stars of this week’s Smash Hits, described as being “Now with added bounce”.

There is an Oasis column, keeping us up to date with Gallagher (and Arthurs, McGuigan, White) related news, Noel Gallagher told Tom Cruise at the premiere of Mission Impossible that he’d be a great James Bond.

There is a look at the headlines that have surrounded Jarvis Cocker this year, and Smash Hits assess their credibility.

Eternal are interviewed as they indulge in activities they find fun, such as rollerblading, going to the gym, and bowling.

In competitions, you could win the chance to meet Michael Jackson.

There is a three page feature on Suede, making a comeback and being described as “The Kings Of Pop”.

Bon Jovi’s website gets reviewed as is recommended to visit.

Dodgy are this week’s Singles Reviewers, unsurprisingly, give their own single Good Enough the award for Best Single.

Suggs takes questions from a biscuit tin, appropriately getting involved in the Digestives v Rich Tea debate, stating that Digestives are better.

The magazine ends with an interview with Mike Flowers.

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MAGAZINE ARCHIVE : NO 1 – 13.9.1986

Owen Paul, remember him? No? Had a hit in 1986, his brother was in Simple Minds. No? This cover seemed a good idea at the time I guess.

On the inside cover is a picture of Michael Hutchence, lead singer of INXS,who they predict for big things, having supported Queen on tour at the personal request of Roger Taylor.

They were so popular in their native Australia according to No 1, that Michael Hutchence beat Mel Gibson in a poll for Most Popular Male.

Cover star Owen Paul gets a double page spread about his career, while Cutting Crew get a full page profile as a band to watch, clarifying “We’re not a black Hip-Hop group” in case you were confused because they had “Crew” in their name.

The Lover Speaks get a full page feature, ahead of the release of their new single, “No More I Love Yous”, which took nine years to be a hit, and when it was, it was a cover by Annie Lennox.

In adverts, Dead Or Alive had a full page advert for their new single “Brand New Lover”

No, I don’t remember it either.

Lyrics in this edition included “You Give Love A Bad Name” by Bon Jovi, and “Rock & Roll Mercenaries” by Meatloaf with John Parr.

OMD get a double page spread, currently riding high in the US charts after supporting The Power Station and Thompson Twins on tour, and having “Of You Leave” featured in the film Pretty In Pink.

In Reviews, “True Colours” by Cyndi Lauper gets 3 stars out of 5, while “Superman”, the follow-up to “It’s Orrible Being In Love When You’re Eight And A Half” by 80s One-Hit Wonder Claire gets 1 star.

Rod Stewart’s latest single also gets 1 star, purely on the basis that he supports Rangers*

(* yes, i’m as confused as your are)

More lyric sheets, this time for “One Great Thing” by Big Country, and “Forever Live And Die” by OMD.

In TV news, Doctor Who is back, and it’s a debut for the latest Doctor, Colin Baker. This gets a full page with stats about the show, and an address for the Doctor Who Appreciation Society.

Talking of new, Bucks Fizz have a new member, Shelley Preston, and her new arrival gets a double page spread.

There is an advert for the following week’s edition, which has a massive A-Ha World Tour 1986/1987 poster.

On the back cover, there was a poster of Paul Young. Nice.

50 YEARS OF TOP OF THE POPS : JUL 11 – JUL 17

Hello and welcome to this week’s Births and Deaths notices of pop, through the medium of TOTP.

First up, is Ritchie Sambora, 55 this week.

However much he thinks he is, the late and great Bobby Farrell isn’t Daddy Cool

One for the young folk

Trevor Horn turns 65 this week. He’s appeared in various guises as performer and producer. Don’t tell Mike Read, i’m playing Frankie

If you don’t like Frankie, and want to report them for obscenity, you could always call The Police.

THE FRIDAY FIVE – 18.1.2013

1. Haim – Don’t Save Me
2. Taylor Swift – I Knew You Were Trouble
3. Gabrielle Alpin – Please Don’t Say You Love Me
4. Bon Jovi – Because We Can
5. Aztec Camara ft Mick Jones – Good Morning Britain

Last Saturday, was “National Kiss A Ginger Day”, sadly I couldn’t any to take part in it with. So, how about a chart celebrating the great gingers of music?

FIVE SONGS BY GINGER SINGERS

1. Elton John – I’m Still Standing
2. Queens Of The Stone Age – The Lost Art OF Keeping A Secret
3. Paramore – That’s What You Get
4. Lulu – Love Love To Love
5. Belinda Carlisle – Heaven Is A Place On Earth

THE FRIDAY FIVE – 2.11.2012

1. Tegan and Sara – Closer
2. Everything Everything – Cough Cough
3. Jake Bugg – Two Fingers
4. Adele – Skyfall
5. Amy MacDonald – 4th Of July

As per, it’s a Top Five, based on the previous week’s X-Factor theme. Last week’s theme was Halloween, except they just sang songs in fancy dress. That was it, further proof that they are making it up as they go along.

Anyway, here’s a Halloween Top Five

FIVE, UM, HALLOWEEN RELATED SONGS

1. Ray Parker Jr – Ghostbusters
2. The Automatic – Monster
3. Tamsin West – Round The Twist
4. The Specials – Ghost Town*
5. Allstars – Things That Go Bump In The Night

*Yes, I know it’s a song that is a social commentary on early 80s Britian, and nothing to do with Halloween, but it’s got ‘Ghost’ in the title. Have you ever tried to think of five Halloween songs? Anyway, if X-Factor can make it up as they go along, why can’t I?

This week also saw the announcement that Bon Jovi are playing Slane.

If ever an excuse was needed for a Bon Jovi Top Five, this was it.

FIVE BON JOVI SONGS

1. Real Life
2. Keep The Faith
3. Everyday
4. Bad Medicine
5. You Give Love A Bad Name

The increase of needy twats infesting my timeline on Twitter asking celebs for RTs can only mean one thing, Movember is here.

So, I thought i’d commemorate this with a Top Five Moustached Men Of History

FIVE GREAT MOUSTACHED MEN OF HISTORY

1. Peter Rafferty
2. Freddie Mercury
3. Earl Hickey
4. Cesar Romero
5. Artur Jorge

NB : This chart was created by using a scientific formula called the Moustache Index, also known as The Mindex.

Freddie Mercury doesn’t score as many Mindex points because most of Queen’s best songs came when he didn’t have a moustache. Artur Jorge loses Mindex points for Switzerland being rubbish at Euro 96, wiping out a lot of his Mindex points for Porto winning the 1987 European Cup

Cesar Romero gains Mindex points for dedication to his tache, for refusing to shave it off when playing The Joker.

Adolf Hitler, has a low Mindex score on account of him having a crap moustache, and not being a nice person.