THE FRIDAY FIVE – 5.7.2013

1. Professor Green ft Miles Kane – Are You Getting Enough?
2. Arctic Monkeys – Do I Wanna Know?
3. Mutya Keisha Siobhan – Flatline
4. Selena Gomez – Come And Get It
5. Gabrielle Aplin – I’m On Fire

It’s a bumper week this week, so let’s get started. Last week, there was a chart for Canada Day, so this week, it’s the Americans who get their own chart (two charts in fact) for Independence Day.

FIVE SONGS BY AMERICAN ACTS

1. Bruce Springsteen – Badlands
2. Weezer – Buddy Holly
3. Tori Amos – Cornflake Girl
4. Terra Naomi – Say It’s Possible
5. Billy Joel – We Didn;t Start The Fire

FIVE SONGS WITH AMERICA OR AMERICAN PLACES IN THE TITLE

1. Razorlight – America
2. Ryan Adams – New York, New York
3. The Proclaimers – Letter From America
4. Bran Van 3000 – Drinking In LA
5. Miley Cyrus – Party In The USA

This week, saw the 30th birthday of Cheryl Cole, so let’s have a wee look back at her career so far, with an essential Cheryl Top Five

FIVE SONGS FEATURING CHERYL COLE

1. Cheryl Cole – Under The Sun
2. Girls Aloud – Biology
3. Cheryl Cole – Parachute
4. Chaeyl Cole – Fight For This Love
5. Girls Aloud – Life Got Cold

And finally, do not adjust your computer, this is something that is actually happening ……. Status Quo, yes, Status Quo, are appearing in their own action movie.

So, in celebration of this, i’ve put on the Double Denim, and penned a Status Quo Top Five.

FIVE SONGS BY STATUS QUO

1. Down Down
2. Pictures Of Matchstick Men
3. Burning Bridges
4. In The Army Now
5. Rockin All Over The World

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THE SOUND OF 2012 : 26-50

26. Newton Faulkner – Clouds
27. The Family Rain – Trust Me, I’m A Genius
28. Madness – My Girl II
29. Pink – Try
30. Green Day – Kill The DJ
31. Cheryl Cole – Under The Sun
32. Of Monsters And Men – Little Talks
33. Bruno Mars – Locked Out Of Heaven
34. Thea Gilmore – London
35. Fun – Some Nights
36. Kylie Minogue – Flower
37. Adele – Skyfall
38. Coldplay – Hurts Like Heaven
39. The Vaccines – I Always Knew
40. Alicia Keys – Girl On Fire
41. Paloma Faith – Never Tear Us Apart
42. Black Keys – Lonely Boy
43. Lloyd – Dedication To Me Ex
44. Elbow – First Steps
45. Blur – Under The Westway
46. Underworld – Caliban’s Dream
47. Justice – New Lands
48. Green Day – Oh Love
49. Pure Love – Riot Song
50. Labrinth ft Emeli Sane – Beneath You’re Beautiful

THE FRIDAY FIVE – 13.7.2012

1. Katy Perry – Wide Awake
2. Florence and the Machine ft Calvin Harris – Spectrum
3. The Killers – Runaways
4. Josh Osho – Redemption Days
5. Gym Class Heroes ft Ryan Tedder – The Fighter

Last Sunday, ITV launched a three part series titled ‘The Nation’s Favourite Number One’ which will probably have some crap Robbie Williams or Spice Girls song as the winner.

To commemorate this (The UK Singkes chart turns 60 this year) i’m going to do a Top Five for every decade from the 60s on.

I have three editions of the Guinness Book Of British Hit Singles (1999, 2001, 2003) and read them from cover to cover, so I know which songs were and weren’t Number One off by heart.

I had to use Wikipedia for this decade, whatever it’s called. A marked departure from when I would check the charts on Ceefax on a Sunday night (It’s still on page 528, if you’re interested)

FIVE NUMBER ONES FROM THE 60s

1. Small Faces – All Or Nothing
2. Rolling Stones – Get Off My Cloud
3. Tommy Roe – Dizzy
4. The Beatles – Ticket To Ride
5. Bee Gees – I Just Gotta Get A Message To You

FIVE NUMBER ONES OF THE 70s

1. Kate Bush – Wuthering Heights
2. Tina Charles – I Love To Love
3. Blondie – Heart Of Glass
4. Sweet – Blockbuster
5. Status Quo – Down Down

FIVE NUMBER ONES OF THE 80s

1. Wham – Freedom
2. Nena – 99 Red Balloons
3. Blondie – Call Me
4. Joe Dolce – Shaddap You Face
5. The Jam – Going Underground

FIVE NUMBER ONES OF THE 90s

1. U2 – The Fly
2. Queen – Innuendo
3. Chesney Hawkes – the One And Only
4. Blur – Country House
5. Babylon Zoo – Spaceman

FIVE NUMBER ONES OF THE 00s

1. Tatu – All The Things She Said
2. Stereophonics – Dakota
3. Nelly Furtado – Maneater
4. Cheryl Cole – Fight For This Love
5. Billie Piper – Day And Night

FIVE NUMBER ONES OF THE 10s

1. Owl City – Fireflies
2. Carly Rae Jepsen – Call Me Maybe
3. Rihanna ft Calvin Harris – We Found Love
4. Gotye ft Kimbra – Somebody That I Used To Know
5. Diana Vickers – Once

THE FRIDAY FIVE – 18.5.2012

1. Coldplay ft Rihanna – Princess Of China
2. Harvey Danger – Flagpole Sitta
3. Ren Harvieu – Open Up Your Arms
4. Carly Rae Jepsen – Call Me Maybe
5. Cheryl Cole – Call My Name

With this weekend seeing the European Cup Final take place in Munich, I thought i’d take the opportunity to do a chart of Germany’s finest musical exports. In truth, i’d just been looking for an excuse, and now I have it.

FIVE SONGS BY GERMAN ACTS

1. Nena – 99 Red Balloons
2. Freiheit – Keeping The Dream Alive
3. Alphaville – Big In Japan
4. Modern Talking – Brother Louie
5. The Scorpions – Winds Of Change

With Liverpool Sound City starting this week, I thought i’d pay tribute to the city’s top musical exports, which makes up for having two rubbish football teams.

I’ve already got a tin hat on in preparation after not including Sonia

FIVE SONGS BY LIVERPOOL ACTS

1. Cast – Finetime
2. Lightning Seeds – All I Want
3. The Real Thing – You To Me Are Everything
4. The Farm – All Together Now
5. The Zutons – You Will You Won’t

MTV EUROPE MUSIC AWARDS BELFAST STYLE

A galaxy of stars descended on Belfast last night as the biggest names in showbiz such as Hugo Duncan, Pamela Ballantine and Pete Snodden were all in attendance at the 2011 MTV EMAs, held at The Odyssey in Belfast.

Madonna was noticable by her absence, having spent the night in a police cell after assaulting a photographer early in the afternoon.

Madonna, one of many stars to take advantage of Belfast’s range of exclusive boutique stores, was arrested whilst on a visit to Connswater with her 20 year old “Personal Trainer”

“I saw Madonna and her male companion just about to enter Connswater, and I shouted, ‘Excuse me Mrs Robinson, can I get a photo?’, because when you see an old woman walking around East Belfast with a man young enough to be her son, you naturally assume it’s Iris Robinson with her latest toyboy” said the photographer.

Controversy was provided by Julian Simmons, working as a roving reporter at the event for UTV Live, during a live interview with Peter Andre and The Saturdays.

“Look at the state of ye, I haven’t seen as much fake tan and make-up since I was in the Beach Club last weekend ………………….. and you wee girls aren’t much better” he said during the live piece, causing Mollie to cry, before handing back to Paul Clarke, who made a tit out of himself by proclaiming to be a fan of “En Dash Dub Zed”

Simmons was later thrown out of the event by security for pestering Cheryl Cole by telling her “It’s about time you got rid of that toerag Ashley” before adding “Do you want a real man who will watch Coronation Street with you?”

Despite the mass coverage given to the event by UTV, BBC Northern Ireland ignored the event, on the basis that neither Graeme “G-Mac” McDowell or Rory McIlroy were on the guestlist, thus making it not worth covering.

Sinn Fein held a protest outside the event due to the fact that Take That, who have a singer called Jason Orange, were on the bill, and that this was “Just another example of British oppression of the people of Ireland”

Eventually, the Parades Commission ruled that Take That had to perform as a four piece without Jason Orange, not have a Lambeg Drum or Flute in their performance, and couldn’t sing “Relight My Fire”, as Sinn Fein considered this to be a song yearning for the 11th July Bonfires.

Naturally, the DUP complained, and organisers appeased them by allowing Dawn Penn to sing their favourite song, “No No No”

The crowd was treated to a surprise duet between Adams and Ritchie. Not the leaders of SDLP and Sinn Fein, but, even more gruesome than that, Bryan Adams and Lionel Ritchie.

UUP Leader Tom Elliott was also in attendance, and found himself sitting at the same table as X-Factor crooner Wagner.

“I can’t believe I was sat beside a joke figure that nobody would admit voting for” said the Brazilian singer.

After performing a duet with host Jackie Fullarton, Bono then waffled some shite about the peace process and how he single-handedly brought about the Good Friday Agreement, as a means of giving himself something to do between the Pop and Elevation tours.

“If you thought getting John Hume and David Trimble on a stage was impressive, i’ve gone one better and reunited Oasis”

Unfortunately, whilst waiting backstage for Bono to shut the fuck up about the Peace Process, Liam and Noel Gallagher got so bored they had a fight, and refused to go on stage.

The night was a complete success, until Megadeath singer Dave Mustaine dedicated his Limetime Achievement Award to “The cause”

The clean-up of the riot that followed means that all the economic profits made from this event will now be spent on the clean-up, as politicians rushed to the scene to do interviews for television saying how terrible it is.

The 2011 MTV EMAs in Belfast, really was a night to remember.