HOLY BATBLOG!!!! : THE FRIDAY FIVE – BATMAN SPECIAL

Today sees the release of the latest Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, and it would be rude not to commemorate this with a tribute to The Caped Crusader.

Forget Christian Bale. Forget George Clooney. Forget Val Kilmer. Even forget Michael Keaton. There is only one true Batman. His name, is Adam West.

Before Family Guy, West saved Gotham City from Baddies and made all our lives better in a live action television series. I used to love watching repeats of this as a child, and still love watching repeats on weekday mornings on ITV 4.

So comical, so colourful, so wonderful. How can you not love Adam West?

Captions of made up words accompanied punches, while Chief O’Hara was a joy, always struggling to work out which master criminal based in Gotham City would taunt them with a joke. A joke!!! If only there was a criminal in Gotham City known for his jokes.

So here, are the Top Five moments of the 1960s Batman TV series (and accompanying Movie)

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

Zoink!!!

There are so many great moments, that there are great moments left out.

LIBERACE CAMEO

Ker-Pow!!! Liberace playing a pianist under the pay of his evil twin brother, who plays a note which deafens people, allowing his evil brother to jump in and steal their belongings. He masterfully played both roles. #holyeviltwin

CHAD AND JEREMY

Biff!! A real band, believe it or not (The Beatles, Rolling Stones, The Who, and every other major band of the 60s must have been unavailable) who played themselves doing a concert in Gotham City, where Catwoman stole their voices.

The plan was to stop them making music, thus making money, and paying taxes to UK Treasury, and thus causing all world economies to collapse. How dastardly.

I imagine if the show was remade today, it would be One Direction having their voices stolen, though i’d like to think Batman would just turn a blind eye to that one. #holyworldeconomycollapse

JOKER JELLY

Splat!! In one episode, The Joker turns Gotham City’s water supply into jelly. I’d love it if that happened in Belfast just to see NI Water make a bollocks of the situation #holyjelly

RETURN TO THE BATCAVE

Urkk!! 2003 biopic starring Adam West and Burt Ward looking back at the show. It begins with Adam West getting ready for a charity function, lifting the head of a statue to slide down a pole to get change.

His butler, Jerry, asks if it is a nostalgic nod to the TV show, to which West replies “No Alfred, it came with the house”

After angrily pointing out that his name is Jerry, West replies “Sorry Alfred”

It continues being that funny. Well worth checking out. #holybiopic

EXPLODING SHARK

Eeee-Yoh!! This needs no introduction. The opening scene to the movie. Batman fights a Shark, which turns out to be and exploding robot.

Luckily, Batman has Anti-Shark Repellant Spray in his utility belt and manages to escape.

Lucky that. #holyexplodingshark

5. CHAT WITH SAMMY DAVIS JUNIOR

Plop!! A classic recurring gag, Batman and Robin climb up a wall, someone opens their window to see what’s going on, and engages in a casual chat with Batman and Robin.

In one episode, they were climbing up a building where Sammy Davis Junior was rehearsing, and engaged in casual natter with the Dynamic Duo.

Davis suggests that Batman and Robin see him in concert, by way of mutual appreciation as “I did your act”

I imagine if the show was filmed today, it would probably involve some rapper, talking street talk, and Batman talking street back to him. Sigh. #holyratpack

4. HOLY TAXATION

Blurp!! Batman and Robin park outside the baddies lair, but before jumping in, proper order first, Batman pays the parking meter.

“But no Traffic Warden would give the Batmobile a ticket!!!” cries an over-eager Robin, to which Batman replies “This money goes towards building better roads, we all must contribute” prompting Robin to utter “Holy taxation”

That’s what stops me being a masked vigilante in Belfast, bloody Traffic Wardens wouldn’t hesitate to give me a ticket while i’m saving the city, especially around Ormeau Avenue and Botanic. #holycivicduty

3. LONDINIUM EPISODE

Whap!! Not just a moment, but a whole (three-part) episode, set in Ye Merry Olde England (Or England, as Americans view it)

Commissioner Gordon is attending a conference in “Londinium”, where there is a crime spree, and the “President Of London” asks Batman for help.

Just imagine a modern remake of that, Boris Johnson starring as himself asking Batman to help stop a crime spree in London.

Batman travels to London, conveniently at the same time Bruce Wayne (with his Ward, Dick Grayson) travels there on Wayne Foundation business, as does Barbara Gordon, as a guest of her dad.

In London, Robin gets captured by a gang of sexy females and hates every minute of it. Batgirl goes to the Cricket Club where he is held to rescue him and gets captured, and locked in the dungeon.

Batman goes to the dungeon to rescue Batgirl, but gets locked in, but uses an Indian Rope Trick for both of them to escape by climbing up and out of a window.

All three of them then stop a robbery of the Crown Jewels, and Ye Merry Olde England returned to being peaceful and crime free. #holyapplesandpairsguvnor

2. THE BATUSI

Vronk!! Batman (Robin is too young to be allowed in) visits a nightclub to investigate some crime, where he gets involved in conversation with a woman who asks him to dance. Ever the perfect gentleman, Batman dances. Not just any dance, but his version of the Watusi ……… The Batusi. #holystrictlycomedancing

1. TRYING TO GET RID OF A BOMB

Bam!! Batman goes to a bad guys lair, but it’s a trap, they’ve left a bomb for him. He can’t let it explode as there’s a full pub underneath, so what does he do?

Everywhere he tries to go, he meets obstacles : Marching bands, Nuns, women pushing prams, A young couple on a boat, Ducks

Eventually, Batman utters the immortal words “Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb”

Luckily he did, just in time. #holybombdisposal