MAGAZINE ARCHIVE : SMASH HITS – 11.9.1996

A topless (did he ever wear a shirt in 1996?) Peter Andre is the cover star of this week’s Smash Hits, with a Superman logo painted on his chest, but with a P instead of an S.

In news, Ant and Dec have signed a £1m deal to present shows for Channel 4, while Smash Hits does a report on the highlights from the Reading Festival and V96.

Meanwhile, Boyzone have announced that their next single will be a cover of Words by Bee Gees.

Staying with Boyzone, two of Shane Lynch’s sisters have formed a pop band called Desire. Yes, that’s Keavy Lynch and Edele Lynch from B*Witched. The other member of Desire was Sinead O’Carroll, also of B*Witched. Lindsay from B*Witched wasn’t a member of Desire.

It is interested to note, that Keavy’s name was spelt Ceavy in this edition. It is unsure if she changed the spelling or if Smash Hits messed up.

Cover star Peter Andre gets a double page interview.

In competitions, you could win a visit to your school by Spice Girls.

In website reviews, Mariah Carey’s website gets reviewed, and is not considered to be user friendly.

Shane Lynch wasn’t the only pop star to have relatives vying for pop fame, as Michael Jackson’s nephews launched a band called 3T, who get a double page feature.

Also getting a double page feature is Oasis, after a chaotic American tour where Liam went AWOL.

Geri and Mel B from Spice Girls are Singles Reviewer, poo pooing Shampoo’s new single and giving the Best Single award to Busta Rhymes.

Also appearing in this week’s edition was Emma Bunton, giving Stephen Gately questions from a biscuit tin. He prefers Oasis over Blur.

The magazine ends with an interview with Louise Wener from Sleeper.

50 YEARS OF TOP OF THE POPS : APR 11 – APR 17

This week’s first video is for birthday boy Neville Staple, formerly of The Specials and Fun Boy Three.

There’s lots of fun in this video. Fun Boy Three, and the presenter of Fun House. And Bananarama.

And sadly, this week would have seen Stewart Adamson’s 56th birthday. This clip, also introduced by Pat Sharp came from a shortened episode due to live coverage of the 1983 FA Cup Final Replay, which conveniently is used to link into the video (There was no video, so BBC just did a goals montage, of what Pete Powell described as “Ace goals”) for “Glory Glory Man United” by Liverpool FC Squad.

Of course not, just seeing if you were paying attention. Would you like some tenuous links between Stewart Adamson and Manchester United?

Stewart Adamson, was actually born in Manchester, and Sir Alex Ferguson (a former player of Adamson’s favourite team, Dunfermline Athletic) attended his funeral.

How was “Mulder and Scully” by Catatonia not Number One? The truth is out there.

Blowing out birthday candles this week is Will Sergeant from Echo and the Bunnymen.

I remember when “Nothing Lasts Forever” came out, I thought they were a new band (in my defence, I was 14) …….

…… and didn’t know they had a back catalogue including this.

And now, 90s men, time to relive all those dreams you had of Sarah Cracknell.

Brace yourselves, this, is just ….. wow.

Ritchie Blackmore was 69 this week. Yet, when you try to find Rainbow Top Of The Pops appearance on Youtube, this comes up. So many questions, the most pressing of which is, where’s Bungle?

Sad anniversary now – Joey Ramone died 13 years ago this week.

And finally, a Royal Birthday of sorts, as Princess Posh of Beckingham Palace hits the big 40 this week.

MAGAZINE ARCHIVE : Q – JUNE 1997

Paul McCartney, promoting his new album ‘Flaming Pie’ is the cover star of this edition of Q, from the summer of 1997.

Former Primer Minister Ted Heath also features, being the subject of the monthly “Who the hell does ……..” column.

In news, there is an interview with the country’s biggest band, Swing Out Sister. Not this country, but Japan about how unappreciated they are in their home country and their love of Japan.

Louise Wener, lead singer of Sleeper, gets a double page spread as she sits online, answering questions from fans via a chatroom on the Q website.

How primitive, seeing as celebrities do this everyday now via Twitter.

Tipped for greatness was Fountains Of Wayne ……… only the seven years before they had their only big hit “Stacey’s Mom”

A whopping twelve pages gets dedicated to an interview with Paul McCartney, including a buyers guide to his back catalogue, both as a Beatle and a solo artist.

In chart news, Chemical Brothers top the album chart, beating off competition from Spice Girls and Wet Wet Wet. Bee Gees have two albums in the top twenty.

In other news, Channel 5 is launched and Q dedicates two pages to this by looking back at the launches of the four other terrestrial channels.

Gary Barlow, then trying to make his name as a solo artist, is featured in a short interview at the end where he reveals that Adam and the Ants was his first concert, that he was the hardest boy in his year at school, and that he doesn’t like Reggae.

Gary Barlow also stated that “I like a girl who can dance and really knows how to move her body”

Something to bear in mind if you are entering X-Factor 2012.

MAGAZINE ARCHIVE : Q – JANUARY 1997

January 1997 is the subject of the latest Magazine Archive, set during the peak years of Britpop, and featuring Oasis on the cover, focusing on the Q Awards, which had just been recently staged.

It was a period when Q was mourning one of their main writers, John Bauldie, who was a passenger in the helicopter crash which killed then Chelsea Chairman Matthew Harding, which is commemorated in the obituaries section.

A whopping fifteen pages are dedicated to the Q Awards, with the first page of the feature having a double paged photo of various guests on stage, engaging in small talk.

Eagle eyed readers will have noticed Dermot Morgan and Ruud Gullit in conversation. It is worth clarifying that Ruud Gullit wasn’t sat on a shed, possibly because it wasn’t Christmas.

1996 was the year that saw Q celebrate it’s 10th anniversary, and the awards ceremony saw various celebrities record video messages of congratulations.

Amongst them, was Tony Blair, then Leader Of The Opposition, recorded one saying “Ten years in power with no opposition – Sounds good to me”. It was almost prophetic.

Ian Brodie was riding on the crest of a wave in 1996 on the back of “Three Lions” and gets five pages looking at his career to date, with minimal mentions of Baddiel and Skinner.

That month, Lightning Seeds were 11 in the Album Chart, being kept out of the Top Ten by Robson and Jerome, Spice Girls, East 17, Simply Red, The Smurfs, Boyzone and Rod Stewart.

Sometimes, history is better off being rewritten.

MAGAZINE ARCHIVE : Q – AUGUST 2005

In this edition of The Magazine Archive, i’ll be looking back at the August 2005 edition of Q, featuring Oasis on the cover, but also including a feature on Charlotte Church, then just about to release her first ‘pop’ album, and Michael Jackson, who had just been on trial for child molestation.

I should issue a disclaimer that when I was searching for magazines to review, a lot of them are editions of Q with Oasis on the cover.

In the news section, three pages are dedicated to a feature on a trend of bands reforming, prompted by rumours of a Stone Roses reunion.

A picture of the Spice Girls during their 1990s peak is caption “Spice Girls : returning in 2006”

In fact, it was 2007 that the Spice Girls would reform, releasing a single called “Headlines” for Children In Need.

The song failed to reach the top ten, and Spice Girls have never recorded since.

A sub-feature looks at the possibility of other bands reforming.

The Verve were listed at 10/1. They did reform and release an album in 2008 titled “Forth” but split up again soon after.

Take That were listed as 25/1, with the text stating “Robbie Williams is unlikely to be keen on playing second fiddle to Gary Barlow again”

Bet you wish you took up the offer of those odds back in 2005.

In the section titled “Rising”, looking at up and coming bands, this month’s feature focuses on Arcade Fire, who won Best International Group and Best International Album at the 2011 Brit Awards.

Not only that, but Arcade Fire also do the best walkout music of any football team in the world, I say without a hint of bias.

In the album chart, very few ‘pop’ acts are in the Top Twenty, with Coldplay just holding off Oasis at Number One.

In the download charts, animation ruled as Gorillaz were keeping Crazy Frog off the top spot.

The middle of the magazine was dominated by a feature called “Scandal” with a compilation of “The 50 Biggest Villains In Music”, and features on “Wildchild” Charlotte Church, and Michael Jackson’s recent trial.

Eight pages are then dedicated to an interview with Oasis. It’s standard Gallagher interview, with the obligatory swearing.

And that, was the world of music in August 2005.

THE GOLDEN AGE OF ADVERTISING

You probably already know as i’ve done a very poor job of denying it, that I am a geek.

One of my geeky activities is that I love watching old videos on Youtube. Total random bollocks, but an insight into a bygone age of television.

So, I just thought i’d share with you, some of my favourite adverts from days of yore currently on Youtube.

We begin, with a Public Service Announcement based on one of my favourite TV shows of all-time as Batgirl complains to Batman about her rights in the workplace while rescuing the Dynamic Duo from a ticking bomb.

Typical woman, eh?

Always picking to most inappropriate moment to jabber on.

You can see the moment when Batman is inwardly saying to himself for her to shut the fuck up and and just deactivate the bomb.

Anyway, she’s a vigilante crimefighter, she doesn’t do it for money, so she should stop complaining. Gotta love Robin’s “Holies”, with “Breaking and entering”, “Act of congress” and “discountent” to add to his various observations during the TV show.

You may have noticed a lack of Adam West in the video, as he was too busy serving the people of Quohog.

Meanwhile, Invest NI forerunner IDB decided it would be a good idea to launch a marketing campaign urging people to work harder, which must be a bit of a bummer when relaxing at home watching TV, only to see an advert telling you to work harder.

Getting in on the public service advertising act, the RUC brought out an advertising campaign asking people to snitch on criminals.

I remember when this ad came out, and it scared the shite clean out of me.

Everytime, I hear ‘Cats In The Cradle’, either by Harry Chapin, Ugly Kid Joe or Jason Downs, all I can think of is this ad, which I suppose shows how successful it was.

Meanwhile, footballers have always been a favourite for ad men to front campaigns as Jimmy Hill demonstrates when educating the nation on road safety.

So cyclists and motorbikers had better be careful on the road, or else their untimely demise will be analysed by Jimmy Hill, as if he’s discussing wether Aston Villa’s second goal was offside on Match of the Day.

Other examples of footballers chasing the ad men’s cash include Brian Clough advertising Shredded Wheat and Saint and Greavsie advertising KFC. That’s Kentucky Fried Chicken, not Kilmarnock Football Club.

Footballers are such money grabbing whores, that they are prepared to appear in adverts before they become a footballer.

One day Jimmy, all those keepy-ups will help you become captain of West Ham United.

As a side note, isn’t “There’s nothing quite like a McDonalds” better than “Ba da ba ba ba, i’m loving it”?

Talking of celebrities appearing in adverts before they were famous, bet Billie Piper wishes she could get the lend of a Sonic Screwdriver and remove this from the nation’s consciousness

And yes, I bought that edition and love the ‘Ultimate Spice Girls Kit’

Talking of the Spice Girls, Remember their Channel Five launch?

I could just imagine the scenes in the recording studio as they try to brainstorm inspiration to write a song about a fifth terrestrial television channel.

It’s just a pity that they didn’t wait a year until 5ive were a big act in the charts. They would have been a more appropriate act to launch the channel.

Anyone who has ever seen the Mitchell and Webb parody of Sky’s football coverage will love this simpler ‘less is more’ advert for the 1986 World Cup. Certainly not as epic as their trailer for the 2008 Olympics

In 1989, Gerry Kelly voiced an advert for a UTV version of the apprentice offering young entrepreneurs a chance in starting up in business.

It’s a different world these days. If a young entrepreneur wants help setting up a business, they just shag the wife of their local MP.

Meanwhile, someone at Austin Rover though it would be a good idea to have an advertising campaign fronted by Noel Edmonds and Derek Trotter.

I don’t know why Austin Rover would want their product associated with a shifty looking, dodgy, untrustworthy wideboy …………… such as Noel Edmonds.

So, i’ll finish with this trailer for ‘Life On Mars’, where the past meets the present in a piece of TV genius