MAGAZINE ARCHIVE : SMASH HITS – 19.4.1989

Wendy James of Transvision Vamp is the cover star of Smash Hits, having broken into the charts during 1989.

As you open the magazine, there is a poster of Fleetwood Mac and Rolling Stones haters The Reynolds Girls.

Smash Hits asks various pop stars if they are O-Zone friendly. Simon Le Bon states that the situation is “Bloody frightening”.

A Spokesperson for Prince Charles says he has given up using O-Zone damaging products.

Jim Kerr of Simple Minds will be hosting a show on Radio 1 about ecological concerns. There is also a cut out letter to send to lobby the Minister for the Environment.

Nathan Moore of Brother Beyond is subject to a questionnaire asking if he is a thug or a weed, with the result putting him in the middle.

There was a token for readers to get free badges – Kylie Minogue, Yazz, Rick Astley and Michael Jackson.

Smash Hits previews Madonna’s new album with a poster and an interview. The interview isn’t with Madonna, but the Songwriters she worked with on the album.

As well as hosting a show on Radio 1, Jim Kerr and his band Simple Minds have a new single out, This Is You Land, which gets the Lyrics Poster treatment.

Cover star Wendy James gets a two page interview, with the headline asking if she is the new Kylie Minogue, revealing that she was suspended from school for knocking over chairs in assembley.

Holly Johnson is the Singles Reviewer, wanting to sit on the fence for songs he doesn’t like such as Texas, Kylie Minogue and Cher. He awarded Best Single to I’m Every Woman by Chaka Khan.

There is a feature on Duran Duran, as they try to regain their status as biggest band in the world.

The magazine ends with a poster of The Bangles.

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THE FRIDAY FIVE – 4.3.2016

1. Lukas Graham – 7 Years
2. James – Nothing But Love
3. Coldplay – Hymn For The Weekend
4. Richard Ashcroft – This Is How It Feels
5. Nathaniel Rateliffe and the Bad Sweats – I Need Never Get Old

Firstly this week, an apology. Who to? The nation of Wales, all 3 million of them. Last Tuesday was St David’s Day and I forgot to do a Welsh Music Chart.

A bit belatedly, here is a Welsh Music Chart for St David’s Day.

FIVE SONGS BY WELSH ACTS

1. Stereophonics – Dakota
2. Donna Lewis – I Love You Always Forever
3. Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse Of The Heart
4. Manic Street Preachers – Autumn Song
5. Lisa Scott-Lee – Electric

I could just about get away with offending the Welsh, but there’s one group of people you shouldn’t offend, and that’s Internet Feminists, which is why there was never any danger of me forgetting International Women’s Day next Tuesday.

So, to celebrate this event, here’s some related charts for you – Female acts and songs with female names and pronouns.

FIVE SONGS BY FEMALE SINGERS

1. Nina Nesbitt – He’s the One I’m Bringing Back
2. Jane Weidling – Rush Hour
3. Lisa Loeb – Stay
4. Sinead Lohan – Whatever It Takes
5. Brianna Corrigan – Love Me Now

FIVE SONGS BY GIRL GROUPS

1. Sugababes – Soul Sound
2. Little Mix – Black Magic
3. Girls Aloud – Biology
4. Madasun – Don’t You Worry
5. All Saints – Pure shores

FIVE SONGS BY FEMALE FRONTED BANDS

1. Chvrches – Leave A Trace
2. Blondie – Heart Of Glass
3. Texas – Black Eyed Boy
4. Hole – Celebrity Skin
5. Sixpence None The Richer – Kiss Me

FIVE SONGS WITH FEMALE NAMES IN THE TITLE

1. The Killers – Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine
2. Oasis – Lyla
3. Jon Bon Jovi – Janey Don’t You Take Your Love To Town
4. Glasvegas – Geraldine
5. Franz Ferdinand – Eleanor Put Your Puts On

FIVE SONGS WITH WOMAN/GIRL/SHE/ HER IN THE TITLE

1. The Kooks – She Moves In Her Own Way
2. White Town – Your Woman
3. Ash – Girl From Mars
4. Neil Finn – She Will Have Her Way
5. Kate Bush – Rubberband Girl

Of course, when International Men’s Day comes around, there’ll be similar charts for the menfolk.

If you don’t know when International Men’s Day is, just go on Twitter on Tuesday and you’ll have smug and self righteous comedians (looking at you Richard Herring) and journalists pointing it out to you in a patronising manner.

It’s on November 19th, if you want to save yourself the effort of being spoken down to by patronising wankers (looking at you Richard Herring) desperate to boost their own personal brand.

That’s eight months away. Until then, you have St Patrick’s Day, St George’s Day, Euro 2016 and International Yorkshire Day charts to listen to.

THE FRIDAY FIVE – 13.11.2015

1. X-Ambassadors – Renegades
2. Cee-Lo – Music To My Soul
3. Fleur East – Sax
4. Bear’s Den – Agape
5. Coldplay – Adventure Of A Lifetime

It’s a good week for gig goers in Belfast. Today, tickets go on sale for Paul Heaton and Jacqui Abbott (tickets shall be purchased for that) and Busted (Just a Public Service Announcement, i’m not purchasing one for that) while Paul Weller and U2 are due in town in the next seven days. Ever so slightly looking forward to those two.

Meanwhile, next Thursday is International Men’s Day. In celebration of all that manliness (grrr) here’s a man based music chart.

FIVE SONGS BY MEN

1. Ryan Adams – Bad Blood
2. Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds – AKA …… What A Life
3. Paul Weller – The Changingman
4. John Parr – St Elmo’s Fire
5. Elton John – I’m Still Standing

FIVE SONGS WITH BOY, MAN OR MEN IN THE TITLE

1. Michael Jackson – Man In The Mirror
2. Texas – Black Eyed Boy
3. Andrew Gold – Lonely Boy
4. David Bowie – The Man Who Sold The World
5. REM – Man On The Moon

FIVE SONGS WITH MALE NAMES IN THE TITLE

1. Rick Springfield – Jesse’s Girl
2. Elliott Smith – Son Of Sam
3. Wonder Villains – Oh Peter
4. Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros – Johnny Appleseed
5. Kasabian – Stevie

50 YEARS OF TOP OF THE POPS : NOV 7 – NOV 13

Fan of The Inbetweeners? Here’s Carli’s real life uncle

Not many birthdays this week, but we’ll try and get a round-up for you.

If you’re getting Sharleen Spiteri something for her birthday, remember, she doesn’t want a lover, she just needs a friend.

Believe it or not, Roy Wood has written more than one song. I have a suspicion we’ll be seeing him again on this blog next month.

And finally, put on your best tartan ……..

Les McKeown can be found these days, judging Scotch Pies.

THE FRIDAY FIVE – 24.5.2013

1. The Uncluded – Delicate Cycle
2. Texas – The Conversation
3. Mark Owen – Stars
4. Emmelie De Forest – Only Teardrops
5. Margaret Berger – I Feed You My Love

So, this weekend is the European Cup Final at Wembley, an it’s an all German affair.

Any excuse, if it was needed, to celebrate the best in German music.

Sweden last week, Germany this, country specific music charts might become a regular feature. Not long until Canada Day, Independence Day and Bastille Day. Ironically, a Bastille Day charts won’t feature Bastille.

FIVE SONGS BY GERMAN ACTS

1. Nena – 99 Red Balloons
2. Freiheit – Keeping The Dream Alive
3. Modern Talking – Brother Louie
4. Alphaville – Big In Japan
5. Scorpions – Wind Of Change